Post by The Ace on Feb 7, 2010 15:50:49 GMT -5
*The scene opens in an obviously fake jungle with The Ace trekking through it, sweating, and wearing a hat, he looks like Dr Grant from Jurassic Park...at his side is nCw interviewer, Chad Lights...dressed oddly like Spock from Star Trek, complete with the fake pointy ears...Chad tries to keep up with The Ace who is running for no real reason...*
Spock: Ok, stop...this really makes no sense at all to me...it is most...illogical...in your memo you told me to come dressed as Spock because we were going to do a Star Trent parody...
Grant: We were...but then I found out something amazing...
Spock: What is it, Captain?
*The Ace stops running and faces Chad....*
Grant: Well according to Bill Oddie, all our fairies about Raptor intelligence, what they were capable of...we weren't even close...they are infact glorified turkeys....
Spock: That is most...illogical...
Grant: I know, but who am I to question the wisdom of Oddie? suppose that makes then no better than chickens really...I thought Raptors were smart...I thought they were smarter than dolphins or whales...I thought they were smarter than primates...
Spock: Perhaps Trent thought the same, it would explain why he picked him as his partner...
Grant: I think you might be right...
Spock: It is the only logical conclusion...but now Captain, I suggest we get on with this interview...
Grant: Alright, I think we'll be safe here for a while...
*The Ace removes his hat and sits down on the ground, as does Chad after removing the fake ears...*
Chad: Alright, well, I'm going to assume you know what Adam had to say about you in his interview with Carly earlier, and so I guess my first question would be why do you think he focussed so much attention on the fact that you need an equalizer to win your matches?
Yes I saw the interview, and I have to say I was a bit disappointed, but hey at least I don't have to sit through another nonsensical Trent promo...no instead I have to address his partner, Barney...to answer your question though...I guess he fears me tearing him apart with my equalizer because he knows full well that I am going into this match with revenge on my mind for what he and Trent pulled last week...such motivation makes me a dangerous man...and he probably believes that by saying that I always cheat to win, that somehow I'll refrain from making the choice to hurt him even more than I already intend to...that I wont use a weapon to make a point...but what he fails to realise is, I use my weaponry for speed and efficiency...why should I bother wasting my considerable wrestling skill on those who don't belong in my ring when I can just cut them off at the pass whilst still inflicting pain?
*The Ace laughs, sadism darkens his expression for a moment"
Chad: So, are you saying you need a weapon to win this Sunday?
*The Ace looks offended by the question*
No, that's not what I'm saying at all, what I'm saying is they can't stop me from using my rake or a sledgehammer, if I choose to do so of course, but I don't necessarily need a weapon to win this Sunday, it would just be more of a convenience than neccessity...but I'm not going to pull a Trent Helms and try to intimidate my opponent by listing all those opponents I have beaten without a weapon to make my point...I can wrestle, I've spent the last five years proving that and I don't need to justify myself to anybody anymore...the fact is Steve and I won the titles without weapons, and with the exception of the Street Fight, where it was all legal anyway, we have defended them against any and all combinations that crossed us - wthout weapons...and Collision will be no different...see this 'casino worker' and 'illegitimate Tag Team Champion' will legitimately work to kick both of your piddly asses this Sunday, and if Raptor is not careful, he won't need to bother visiting Trent the next time he ends up in hospital, because he will be in a bed right next to him...
*The Ace laughs*
See, Steve and I have been friends for a long time...and we both never really gave a damn about Trent, sure at one point we thought he might help us establish ourselves here so we went along for the ride...but soon we discovered the ride was little more than a dead end, so we went out for ourselves, and defeated The Hollands to both attain our first straps of nCw gold...but what really makes me laugh in all of this is, I am criticized for never having achieved anything on my own here in nCw...well what the hell has Adam done on his own? Nothing...he had Punisher carry his ass to a brief and fluky run as Tag Team Champion...and then when Punisher packed his bags, Adam faded into obscurity...and now he's looking to Trent to carry him again...to give his career a rebirth...but before something can be reborn, it must first die...and on Sunday...The Smokin' Aces will burn through the competition once again, we will be the crematory service to scatter their asses across the canvas...ashes to ashes...dust to dust...
*The Ace grins*
Chad: Adam thinks you're delusional and only kidding yourself that you are a top superstar here, your thoughts?
The only delusional people kidding themselves around here are Trent and Knite if they think they have a chance at beating the best damn tag Team on this planet...or any other planet for that matter, whether its Vulcan, Planet Jarrett, Planet Stasiak or even Planet Helms...the fact is pople accept me as one of the elite because I am...and after Collision, Knitemare on Helms Street will have no choice but to accept it aswell...oh and Adam, you can stop hitting on me by calling me Acey pie and complimenting the scent of the methane I produce, I know you're just looking for a bone, I suppose its only natural, but understand this, I will never be just another bone in your fossil...
*Chad can't help but sblack person at that comment before he asks his next question...*
Chad: Both your opponents seem rather confident, does that worry you at all?
They always are before the cold, hard reality of their plight finally hits home...but by then, its normally already too late...so no, I'm not worried, and I doubt Steve is either...sure, Adam can sit there till the moon turns green flapping his gums about how great he believes himself to be and how he works...it wont make a damn bit of difference to me...becaus the way I work is I not only set the record beforehand, I show you just how damn good I am, I let my actions speak for themselves, and I can tell you this, this Sunday, boy do they have one hell of a speech prepared to deliver...and it will be that difference in work ethic that will ensure yet another successful defense for Steve and myself...see its obvious Knite is delusional because I can't ever recall him winning on his own or tearing someone apart like he claims...its all just hot air to me...and the difference is, when I tear Adam apart, he will not be able to blame himself or God...simply the Face of Satan...see Adam can't blow smoke up our asses because we are The Smokin Aces, he can't jerk our chains when he;s the anchor to weigh Trent down...
Chad: Adam says neither of you impress him very much and he's actually more afraid of Kathy than he is of you, what do you say to that?
Well, the truth is neither Trent or Knite impress us much either, and as far as being afraid of Kathy, he should be, she is a beast only I can tame and that is no bad thing...bottom line is this...wild cat or glorified turkey? My money will always be with the wild cat...either way, I'm sure she doesn't know whether to be flattered or insulted by Knite's comments, but I promise you this...one way or the other...The Raptorous One and The Galactic King will be trumped by a pair of Smokin' Aces...when we leave then laying...side by side...
*The Ace smirks*
Chad: Adam has made it clear that they mean business and aren't here to play games on Sunday...your thoughts?
Well that's a shame because playing games with our opposition is exactly our business...and whilst they may not be playing, they're still gambling with their careers this Sunday...a second rate nobody? That's hardly accurate now is it? Especially when you consider that this second rate noobody has left many first rate somebodies laying unconscious in a pool of their own blood...a dinosaur who talks of destiny and a spaceman who talks about primates are hardly a threat to us...they will not take our titles...they will not hang Steve from the rafters...no, they will fall...fall like the cards do from the rafters every time I step through that curtain...theirs is not a road to greatness, just a yellow brick road of fantasy at the end of which there is no wizard to grant them their desires...we will not be the victims of a Knitemare...no, we will simply make you realise that all you've ever lived is a dream...we are not stepping stones...but you are our slabs in our path, and you need to be laid down for us to continue our success...you are both vessels to be torpedoed…we are the real champions, whilst Adam is just a product of history and Trent a product of mythology…one died out ages ago…the other never existed, and this Sunday Raptor will be struck down by the destiny of a huge flaming meteor that will spell his extinction…as we leave a smoking crater in our wake large enough for Trent to land in, spaceship and all…
*The Ace laughs as Steve in his Jeff Goldblum wig walks on to the scene…*
Jeff: So I’ve discovered the lost world…oooh, ahhhh…that’s how it starts…later on there’s going to be a lot of running and screaming…
At least thsy is what will happen when you two piddly asses step into our world…
*Steve smirks before he parts his fingers on his right hand in the traditional Vulcan greeting to Chad…*
Jeff: Live long and prosper…
*Chad can’t return the gesture no matter how hard he tries*
Chad: I just canne do it, Cap’in! She willne hold!
That’s Scotty, not Spock…
*In his frustration at being caught out, Chad clasps a hand around The Ace’s shoulder in an attempt to do the nerve pinch…which fails horribly…as the scene fades out with Chad looking very pained as he tries in vain to pull it off, but the tag team Champions just look very confused at one another*
Spock: Ok, stop...this really makes no sense at all to me...it is most...illogical...in your memo you told me to come dressed as Spock because we were going to do a Star Trent parody...
Grant: We were...but then I found out something amazing...
Spock: What is it, Captain?
*The Ace stops running and faces Chad....*
Grant: Well according to Bill Oddie, all our fairies about Raptor intelligence, what they were capable of...we weren't even close...they are infact glorified turkeys....
Spock: That is most...illogical...
Grant: I know, but who am I to question the wisdom of Oddie? suppose that makes then no better than chickens really...I thought Raptors were smart...I thought they were smarter than dolphins or whales...I thought they were smarter than primates...
Spock: Perhaps Trent thought the same, it would explain why he picked him as his partner...
Grant: I think you might be right...
Spock: It is the only logical conclusion...but now Captain, I suggest we get on with this interview...
Grant: Alright, I think we'll be safe here for a while...
*The Ace removes his hat and sits down on the ground, as does Chad after removing the fake ears...*
Chad: Alright, well, I'm going to assume you know what Adam had to say about you in his interview with Carly earlier, and so I guess my first question would be why do you think he focussed so much attention on the fact that you need an equalizer to win your matches?
Yes I saw the interview, and I have to say I was a bit disappointed, but hey at least I don't have to sit through another nonsensical Trent promo...no instead I have to address his partner, Barney...to answer your question though...I guess he fears me tearing him apart with my equalizer because he knows full well that I am going into this match with revenge on my mind for what he and Trent pulled last week...such motivation makes me a dangerous man...and he probably believes that by saying that I always cheat to win, that somehow I'll refrain from making the choice to hurt him even more than I already intend to...that I wont use a weapon to make a point...but what he fails to realise is, I use my weaponry for speed and efficiency...why should I bother wasting my considerable wrestling skill on those who don't belong in my ring when I can just cut them off at the pass whilst still inflicting pain?
*The Ace laughs, sadism darkens his expression for a moment"
Chad: So, are you saying you need a weapon to win this Sunday?
*The Ace looks offended by the question*
No, that's not what I'm saying at all, what I'm saying is they can't stop me from using my rake or a sledgehammer, if I choose to do so of course, but I don't necessarily need a weapon to win this Sunday, it would just be more of a convenience than neccessity...but I'm not going to pull a Trent Helms and try to intimidate my opponent by listing all those opponents I have beaten without a weapon to make my point...I can wrestle, I've spent the last five years proving that and I don't need to justify myself to anybody anymore...the fact is Steve and I won the titles without weapons, and with the exception of the Street Fight, where it was all legal anyway, we have defended them against any and all combinations that crossed us - wthout weapons...and Collision will be no different...see this 'casino worker' and 'illegitimate Tag Team Champion' will legitimately work to kick both of your piddly asses this Sunday, and if Raptor is not careful, he won't need to bother visiting Trent the next time he ends up in hospital, because he will be in a bed right next to him...
*The Ace laughs*
See, Steve and I have been friends for a long time...and we both never really gave a damn about Trent, sure at one point we thought he might help us establish ourselves here so we went along for the ride...but soon we discovered the ride was little more than a dead end, so we went out for ourselves, and defeated The Hollands to both attain our first straps of nCw gold...but what really makes me laugh in all of this is, I am criticized for never having achieved anything on my own here in nCw...well what the hell has Adam done on his own? Nothing...he had Punisher carry his ass to a brief and fluky run as Tag Team Champion...and then when Punisher packed his bags, Adam faded into obscurity...and now he's looking to Trent to carry him again...to give his career a rebirth...but before something can be reborn, it must first die...and on Sunday...The Smokin' Aces will burn through the competition once again, we will be the crematory service to scatter their asses across the canvas...ashes to ashes...dust to dust...
*The Ace grins*
Chad: Adam thinks you're delusional and only kidding yourself that you are a top superstar here, your thoughts?
The only delusional people kidding themselves around here are Trent and Knite if they think they have a chance at beating the best damn tag Team on this planet...or any other planet for that matter, whether its Vulcan, Planet Jarrett, Planet Stasiak or even Planet Helms...the fact is pople accept me as one of the elite because I am...and after Collision, Knitemare on Helms Street will have no choice but to accept it aswell...oh and Adam, you can stop hitting on me by calling me Acey pie and complimenting the scent of the methane I produce, I know you're just looking for a bone, I suppose its only natural, but understand this, I will never be just another bone in your fossil...
*Chad can't help but sblack person at that comment before he asks his next question...*
Chad: Both your opponents seem rather confident, does that worry you at all?
They always are before the cold, hard reality of their plight finally hits home...but by then, its normally already too late...so no, I'm not worried, and I doubt Steve is either...sure, Adam can sit there till the moon turns green flapping his gums about how great he believes himself to be and how he works...it wont make a damn bit of difference to me...becaus the way I work is I not only set the record beforehand, I show you just how damn good I am, I let my actions speak for themselves, and I can tell you this, this Sunday, boy do they have one hell of a speech prepared to deliver...and it will be that difference in work ethic that will ensure yet another successful defense for Steve and myself...see its obvious Knite is delusional because I can't ever recall him winning on his own or tearing someone apart like he claims...its all just hot air to me...and the difference is, when I tear Adam apart, he will not be able to blame himself or God...simply the Face of Satan...see Adam can't blow smoke up our asses because we are The Smokin Aces, he can't jerk our chains when he;s the anchor to weigh Trent down...
Chad: Adam says neither of you impress him very much and he's actually more afraid of Kathy than he is of you, what do you say to that?
Well, the truth is neither Trent or Knite impress us much either, and as far as being afraid of Kathy, he should be, she is a beast only I can tame and that is no bad thing...bottom line is this...wild cat or glorified turkey? My money will always be with the wild cat...either way, I'm sure she doesn't know whether to be flattered or insulted by Knite's comments, but I promise you this...one way or the other...The Raptorous One and The Galactic King will be trumped by a pair of Smokin' Aces...when we leave then laying...side by side...
*The Ace smirks*
Chad: Adam has made it clear that they mean business and aren't here to play games on Sunday...your thoughts?
Well that's a shame because playing games with our opposition is exactly our business...and whilst they may not be playing, they're still gambling with their careers this Sunday...a second rate nobody? That's hardly accurate now is it? Especially when you consider that this second rate noobody has left many first rate somebodies laying unconscious in a pool of their own blood...a dinosaur who talks of destiny and a spaceman who talks about primates are hardly a threat to us...they will not take our titles...they will not hang Steve from the rafters...no, they will fall...fall like the cards do from the rafters every time I step through that curtain...theirs is not a road to greatness, just a yellow brick road of fantasy at the end of which there is no wizard to grant them their desires...we will not be the victims of a Knitemare...no, we will simply make you realise that all you've ever lived is a dream...we are not stepping stones...but you are our slabs in our path, and you need to be laid down for us to continue our success...you are both vessels to be torpedoed…we are the real champions, whilst Adam is just a product of history and Trent a product of mythology…one died out ages ago…the other never existed, and this Sunday Raptor will be struck down by the destiny of a huge flaming meteor that will spell his extinction…as we leave a smoking crater in our wake large enough for Trent to land in, spaceship and all…
*The Ace laughs as Steve in his Jeff Goldblum wig walks on to the scene…*
Jeff: So I’ve discovered the lost world…oooh, ahhhh…that’s how it starts…later on there’s going to be a lot of running and screaming…
At least thsy is what will happen when you two piddly asses step into our world…
*Steve smirks before he parts his fingers on his right hand in the traditional Vulcan greeting to Chad…*
Jeff: Live long and prosper…
*Chad can’t return the gesture no matter how hard he tries*
Chad: I just canne do it, Cap’in! She willne hold!
That’s Scotty, not Spock…
*In his frustration at being caught out, Chad clasps a hand around The Ace’s shoulder in an attempt to do the nerve pinch…which fails horribly…as the scene fades out with Chad looking very pained as he tries in vain to pull it off, but the tag team Champions just look very confused at one another*